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PAST ARCHIVED FEATURES

 
www.mrwinkle.com

Mr. Winkle
www.mrwinkle.com

The question of whether aliens truly exist may finally have an answer.

At least that's what some people believe, due to Mr. Winkle, a one-of-a-kind dog whose species and origins are, as of now, unidentified.

Looking more like a mix between the Snuggle Bear and a Pomeranian dog, Mr. Winkle is quite possibly the cutest dog to have ever existed. His utter adorableness has been acknowledged world-wide, as Mr. Winkle has made appearances on The Rosie O'Donnell Show, CNN and on various Japanese view shows.

Furthermore, Mr. Winkle has his own Web site which features information on the pup, none of which, however, specifically answers the question of what species the dog is. On top of this, Mr. Winkle also has his own line of products that can be purchased through the site.

The most popular product is his 2001 photo calendar, which features Mr. Winkle in a wide variety of poses and goes for an average price of $14.95. Site-goers have the ability to preview six of the months, the photos of which are so cute they could entice any softy to purchase the calendar.

One such pose features Mr. Winkle sitting in a basket with a bunch of stuffed animals that look like him. The fact that it isn't initially obvious where Mr. Winkle is in the picture attests to just how cute he is.

In addition to the calendar, Mr. Winkle also has a video short for sale, a segment of which can be viewed through the site, that features him in action. Viewers can watch Mr. Winkle run around with steps that are also rather unordinary, and see how he has a tongue which is always sticking out of his mouth (the site claims his tongue is either too big for his mouth or that his mouth is too small for his tongue).

For the time being, Mr. Winkle's owners claim they rescued him from a pound, but his true origin, whether or not it is extraterrestrial, isn't what makes him so great. Cuteness is truly what makes Mr. Winkle the best dog on earth.

 

Barbara McGuire
Rating: 10

Mullets Galore
www.mulletsgalore.com

Hockey hair has finally scored a goal. The Mullet, often referred to as the "business in front, party in back" hairdo, is making a splash on a Web site hairstylists would abhor a little place called Mullets Galore.

Undoubtedly, mulletsgalore.com is a site that will leave a lot of cold necks, or those sans mullet, shivering perhaps with fear, maybe nausea, but most likely abomination.

MulletsGalore.com captures mullet-sheathed specimens in their natural habitats: holding a beer, giving the sign of the devil, or smiling a big toothless grin after getting paroled. But, let this be known, people sporting mullets can be found anywhere.

With page after page of photos, the site offers a classification section with seven different mullet styles, where a person can really hone in on the "lifestyle" of a specific mullet.

Starting with the basics, the "Classic Mullet" category provides a stellar example of this neck warming phenomenon. Think of this style as Mullet 101. As a site-goer continues to peruse, they will be quickly educated on the subtle nuances of the mullet lifestyle. Complete with a "Mulletude" rating of 1-10, it's easy to know if a certain mullet makes the grade.

A few of these mullets, also known as "achy-breaky-bad-mistakey's," do just that. The punked-out "Mullhawk," for instance, embodies a cross between a Mohawk and the beloved Kentucky waterfall. Mulletsgalore.com also crosses the gender line with a fine portrait of a "Femullet," a picture of a simple woman sporting her non-gender restrictive ape drape.

Viewers must not stop surfing this site, though, until the "Loch Ness Mullet" is hunted down. This refers to a photo of a man, one must assume, blissfully fishing on a lake, content with his overgrown Squirrel Flap.

Other highlights of this site are a vocabulary section, a merchandise section, and a featured "Mullet of the Week" photo, which posts new and exciting pictures of this hairdo (or, rather, this hair-don't).

Let this Web site be a lesson to anyone who may think this trend is going to infiltrate pop culture. While the Camaro Cut may drive some people wild, this uproariously funny Web site will continue to be a source of comfort and cheap laughs for any and all having a bad hair day.

Sarah Monson
Rating: 10

Shitty Gift
www.shittygift.com

Receiving gifts isn't always easy. Often, an award-winning performance is required from the recipient to show thanks, especially when the gift isn't all that desirable.

At shittygift.com, however, upset recipients can express remorse for unwanted gifts, such as the notorious wool sweaters with accompanying pink bunny designs that grandmothers just love to knit and give away.

The site's content consists of woeful tales of terrible gifts, submitted by various site-goers. The layout is simple, but the humorous stories are enough to keep users coming back for more.

Not all of the supposedly terrifying gifts, however, seem all that bad. What seems to be the more prevailing idea behind posted stories is simply comedy.

One present, for instance, titled "Spud Missiles" is more of a suggestion for a gift than a warning against one. The submission begins with the question, "Have you ever wanted to blow someone away ... with a potato?"

What follows is a quote from the spud gun site that talks about the benefits of this particular tater weapon, which actually cuts the potato into pellets instead of shooting the whole thing at once. As with all stories, a link to the Web site corresponding to the gift is also provided for those who are interested.

Some of the dreadful gifts are even quite shocking and result in wonderment over who would ever create such an item. A "Golden Toothpick" is one such object that is listed as the perfect present for the guy who has everything. The 14-karat gold retractable toothpick, however, will cost you a pretty penny, priced at $109.

A top 10 list for the week, as well as a series of totally inappropriate gifts, is also available through the site. Once again, site-goers may be shocked to learn about the existence of the number one most inappropriate present, which is the "learn about puberty" chia pet. Though no explanation follows, a picture of a toilet does, complete with green growth, which hints at the design behind the product.

With humorous and entertaining content, shittygift.com proves that some not-so-clean content will make a site lacking in the latest technology still great to visit.

Barbara McGuire
Rating: 6

 


External Web Sites
www.mrwinkle.com

www.shittygift.com

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